you are the only one that can always bring me down.
wellllllllll, somethings gotta change.
fuckk it.
I hate the feeling of you about to have an anxiety attack,and you want everything in the world to just come to a complete stop, so you can calm down. It’s hard. They say you just gotta breath. That most of the time doesn’t work. Sitting, waiting, and wishing for time to pass by so you know when and where you are.
You are nice to the point this happens. You bend over backwards so this stops. It doesn’t make any sense. You push forward many,many things but then, you get nothing in return. So you keep pushing for the best, and it only just gets worse. Where is the love? Where is the respect? It’s obviously very, very distant from what you are wanting and feeling.
You may always have a person in your life. But, honestly there is usually just one that you cannot live without. Being young, and being pretty much head over heels over someone isn’t the best thing. It may make the time with them soo worthwhile. But, after the time is over you are stuck. And, it’s hard to get out even if you can. That feeling sucks.
I may just move away, but moving away won’t end all of these problems. My life is going good, and I don’t know if relocation would be the best idea. I’ll live. I’m staying where I am at.
You passed away last September. I didn’t know you that well, but you were a good hearted guy I could tell. And, you gave amazing light shows.
Now another one of my friends Today.
Now this weekend is my deceased brother’s death day or whatever you wanna call it. It’s not fair. It’s a part of life. The worst kind, but I guess what happens happened for a reason.
I enjoy your company. Even though, I should beg to hate it. I know, what I did was wrong in the past. but, sometimes things are just so hard to get over. You meant the fucking world to me, I thought I was doing okay. But, lately, you’ve been around.. and it’s hard to ignore such a hard feeling. I want to be okay with you, but I don’t think I can. I mean, I could. But, just seeing you go through what you go through kills me. How girls treats you kills you, because how I feel about you and how I would treat you would blow them out of the water. That may sound conceited but, that’s the truth. Every guy or girl I have been with since we’ve broke up, everyone of them, I end up comparing to you. And, it’s mostly good. We may of argued, we may of been happy as fuck together. But, you meant the world to me. You still do, I just wish you could possibly take the time to notice how I feel. How I really need you back in my life.
Some days I just want to sit back and watch the world pass me by. I don’t want to be involved with people, or show them how I feel. I want them to show me that there can be some type of beauty in the world. And, not everything is fake. Some things were not what they are suppose to be. I hate the world. But, I also love it. Heartburn with lies. Its a mixed life. It’s the mixed drinks. It’s the mixed pills. And,the mixed elements of the daily life that prove to you. We live for the people that don’t give two fucks about us. We change for those people too. The time and place is the setting of our lives. We walk until our feet are bruised. We drink until we can’t stand anymore. We smoke until our lungs bleed. We do things that aren’t good enough for us, but we do them anyway. I don’t get it. You bitch about everything. You move from everything. You are not everything you use to be. But, yet I am so into you. I don’t know anymore. Some days I do just want to sit back and watch. I want to be able to find something more. Something more than this shithole Indiana.
We live to fight.
We live to die.
We are here today.
But gone tomorrow.
Your cheap thrills that are throwed by new beginings.
You aren’t who I thought you were to be,
jsfksjfs
